I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize