i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
