Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize