AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
