I like to think it a success when the cops are called
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
