you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
