did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
