i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
