if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
This toilet bowl is my home.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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