To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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