So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize