You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
