you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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