I hope mine doesn't look like that
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
