we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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