she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
