Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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