went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
