It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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