you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
So squirting runs in the family.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
