I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
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