So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
