You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
