im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
