RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
