umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
