my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
