Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
