i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
