I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
