don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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