It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
