Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
