hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
