What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She's the barista slut.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Randomize
