Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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