Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
