obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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