Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
