I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
