and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Two words: blizzard sex
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
