So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i out mim tonsoeep
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
