Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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