I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
