I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have fence marks all over my body
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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