Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize