im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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