Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
