is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
