i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
